I remember standing in the queue for coffee at a rush hour in this amazing old café. I could see that most of the people in the queue were regular here who grab a ‘to go’ and get out of there in no time. You have to understand this, in India, there is a damn thick line between the workers and the tax payers! And this line is so visible and prominent that ‘knowingly’ no one crosses it. Anyways, after 3 people my turn came and knowing what exactly I had to order, I started with ‘hi’ with a smile and poof! I saw something which I had not seen in last 5-6 minutes standing there. The person at the counter smiled back (little gladly). That’s when it struck me, everyone in the queue just plainly ordered, paid the exact money, moved aside to wait, took the delivery and went off. Being regular there, they knew the procedure but never realized that they see each other daily. They were the strangers who met every day!
What’s the problem? No not the smart phones again! It is possible that none of us initiate a conversation because it’s awkward and challenging, or we think it’s annoying and unnecessary. But I feel that small talk is worth the trouble. It is an invaluable social ritual with big benefits, both personal and professional.
A brief chat with the server creates higher positive emotions, not to mention a considerable better coffee shopping experience that acts as a bonus! Not out of kindness or just trying to be polite (believe me, no one needs that), it comes naturally for a simple reason – to bond.
Every great romance and big business deal begins with small talk. The key is to connect and not communicate. Dismissing small talk is easy but we shouldn’t forget that deep relationship wouldn’t even exist if it weren’t for casual conversation. It’s important not to overlook the value of small talk. Interactions with more peripheral members of our social network actually matter for our well being. When you connect with people you are much less likely to mistreat them or be mistreated by them. Reaching out to strangers makes one feel a greater sense of belonging.
Not just personally, but professionally, casual conversation starters become essential. It acts as a warm up that conveys trustworthiness and willingness to cooperate, because people do business with their friends. So when in the elevator, waiting room, in line at the bank or café, instead of focusing deeply on your smart phones or struggling with that awkward silence, just say ‘hi’ and see the smile!
LivingBrink 